...but I find myself cranky tonight.
Maybe it is that I have found myself missing this guy a little more intensely the last couple of days.
(For updates on his experiences while serving a full time, 2 year mission in Mexico City, check out his letters here.)
Maybe it is that I have gone through the last several years of pictures in the last few days (my mom has been asking for a CD of pictures for her birthday for about three years, so I decided to finally make it happen) and the nostalgia of seeing how big my little people have gotten. (And how old I look now.) (No, seriously. What happened between 22 and 25 that makes me look so much older?!)
At least part of it is likely the movie we watched tonight before bed, which is I guess a classic but I had never seen, and it was kinda upsetting.
Perhaps it is partially because it is 4:35am and I haven't been able to fall asleep yet, and now the time I would have to sleep is extremely limited anyway, which is deterring me from just downing some nyquil.
But I sort of think a lot of it is plain anger.
I am so mad I could spit. Like, that isn't even an expression. I feel like spitting at someone (I will refrain).
Lest you missed the well-commented facebook post this evening, someone STOLE MY STROLLER today at Sea World.
I have had things stolen from me before. In fact, this isn't even the first stroller I have had stolen from me (the first one being some years ago, and it was only one of those cheap umbrella strollers, and I comforted myself in thinking that it was probably someone who REALLY needed it, so I am glad they had it anyway.) But somehow, I am way more furious than with anything else I have had stolen.
I am guessing in no small part because this is likely the most expensive item I have ever had stolen.
Now, I don't consider myself much of a name-brander. For example, I have only had one pair of designer shoes in my life (that I can think of), I bought them five years ago and still wear them pretty darn frequently (even though since then I have had countless toe problems and they hurt my feet like the dickens.) I loved those shoes and really, really wanted them. And then when Target made a knock off a few months later, I was pretty bitter I had purchased them. But I digress. I don't think I would normally spend so much on a stroller. But lest you have no children, or your children are past stroller age, allow me to defend my purchase really quickly: obviously if you are going cost, the cheap umbrella strollers are the way to go. But, if the child to parent ratio is 2:1 (which it normally is when I am out, not counting this summer, which Greg has had off, but will be the last time he has a chunk of time off with his family until... retirement. Sorry, honey.), umbrella strollers aren't going to cut it, because I can't push two strollers at once. And I suppose my three year old should walk places himself and not need a stroller, but if I don't put him in one, he whines the whole time to be carried, which just makes things unpleasant. Or he walks, but at his own pace. It routinely takes 45 minutes to get the mail. I am not exaggerating. So, a double stroller it has to be. And, if you are buying a double stroller, the very cheapest ones are not that cheap, and they suck. So, really, the fabulous stroller is not THAT much more in the scheme of things, and it is so easy to push around. So, yes, I bought myself THE stroller. If that makes me foolish or spend thrifty, fine. (Is my excellent mood showing through here?)
Anyway, usually I try and think of how lucky I am, and I even sometimes try and tell myself that it is better that unfortunate things happen to me instead of someone else, for whom they might really be a tragedy.
But I feel like this is sort of a tragedy.
And to come at a time where I just moved into a bigger house, (which I still adore, but still), which means more rent, more utilities, and more rugs needed for the floors. Also, both of my cars have the check engine lights on, one of which won't actually start, so we are still trying to think of a way to get it from the parking lot at our old apartment complex to a mechanic. Also, I just got the bill for law school next semester, and it ain't tiny... even WITH the scholarship. Also, we just charged all the law books on amazon.com to our credit card (which, at a significantly reduced price from retail, are still expensive enough to feed a whole third world city.) Also, we are working on getting our house in Utah ready to rent, which is costing us. And is there ever a good time to have an unexpected expense? NO!
I loved our stroller. I am just sad. And I am cranky. And overtired. And it is 5 in the morning. So I am going in for a little self indulgence. Poor, poor me.
PS, I know I sound terribly bratty in this post. I have a lot of blessings. A lot. If nothing else, being a broke student's wife gives me access to student loans, which can help me forget my problems... until approximately six months after he is no longer enrolled in school full time. =) Forgive me for the brattiness, and I am sure I will feel better now that I got it out of my system. Next time perhaps we will work on getting it out of my system in a less public forum... hmm.....
4 days ago